


Mind Trip

by KB9VCN



Category: El Hazard: The Magnificent World
Genre: Gen, Humor, Mind Swap, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-05-31
Updated: 2002-05-31
Packaged: 2018-09-06 16:16:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8760154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KB9VCN/pseuds/KB9VCN
Summary: Written May 2002; humor; about 2400 words.
The part about the alternate reality, about three-fourths of the way through, is a reference to the TV series.  OVA-Afura didn't explicitly have a library, but I always assumed she had one too.
This contains slapstick violence.  Reader discretion is advised.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written May 2002; humor; about 2400 words.
> 
> The part about the alternate reality, about three-fourths of the way through, is a reference to the TV series. OVA-Afura didn't explicitly have a library, but I always assumed she had one too.
> 
> This contains slapstick violence. Reader discretion is advised.

Shayla was sprawled on a comfy chair in the visitors' lounge in the temple of Mt. Muldoon, bored out of her mind, counting dots on the ceiling. "Three hundred fourteen, three hundred fifteen, three hundred sixteen..."

Afura entered the room. "Shayla? What are you doing here?"

Shayla turned her head and scowled at Afura, and turned back to look at the ceiling again. "One... two... three..."

Afura looked around them. "And why do we have a visitors' lounge here in the temple, anyway? It's on Mount Muldoon, after all. No one's been here since Makoto, Fujisawa and Alielle visited."

Shayla didn't turn her head again, but she scowled more angrily. "ONE... TWO... THREE..."

Afura sat on the arm of the chair and smiled at her. "If you're tired of my company, why don't you go visit with someone else?"

Shayla sighed. "I HATE long holiday weekends...

"Kauru's already gone, touring water shrines, blessing rocks and trees and things. She's worse than YOU, doing her 'duties'...

"Makoto and Ifurita will still be locked away in their rooms, working on experiments, or making googly eyes at each other...

"Fujisawa told me he was taking the family on a camping trip, but you and I both know he'll be dragging Miz and the kid up the side of some mountain...

"And Box Lunch Girl will be busy at the restaurant with holiday specials, and it's no fun annoying her when she's really busy.

"I dunno... looks like three days of me, a keg of ale, and target practice in the ravine, making little rocks out of big rocks."

Afura mused. "Well, I was thinking about paying a visit to the wind shrine at..."

Then she looked at Shayla with one eyebrow raised. "Say... all jokes aside, shouldn't you go visit some fire shrines?"

Shayla winked at her. "They all burned down."

Afura closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. "Ngh... Like I was saying, before my brain hurt... I was thinking about paying a visit to the wind shrine at Zabriskie Point. I haven't been out there for a few months..."

Shayla was staring at the ceiling again. "Isn't that the place way, way, WAY out in the middle of nowhere? Worse than Arliman? Nothing but desert for a hundred kilometers in all directions?"

Afura sighed. "Yes... but my duties require me to—"

Shayla cut her off as she finally sat up from her chair. "'Kay. Have fun. I'm off to target practice."

Afura continued, a little more loudly. "Like I was SAYING... It's a long ways for me to fly alone, and I wouldn't mind some company on the way there and back..."

Shayla stood, stretched her arms and yawned. "BORE-ing..."

Afura smiled, and continued again, as Shayla began to walk away from her. "And like I was saying... my flight path will take me directly over the Barage Market... and it's been awhile since we went shopping together..."

Shayla froze in her tracks, and then, slowly turned back to Afura.

Afura laid it on thick. "And just think of all the holiday sales they must be planning. Why, we could both buy a whole new wardrobe."

Shayla's resolve was visibly weakening. "Ah well... Damn it..."

Afura comically stuck out her bottom lip and pouted. It was even more ridiculous, considering how out-of-character it was for her. And then, she whined. "Aw, c'mon, Sparky. Pleeeeeeze?"

Shayla sighed. "OK, but shopping first?"

Afura sighed. "Very well. I shall... make that sacrifice."

They silently looked at each other for a few moments after that. Then they grinned maniacally at each other, and yelled in unison.

"ROAD TRIP!!"

—

Shayla clung to Afura's side as they both glided through the hazy mountain skies.

Shayla's presence provided her dear friend with companionship, but it also violated an important principle of aviation safety: she was being so annoying that she was distracting the pilot.

"Are we there yet, Afura?"

"No, Shayla."

"Are we there yet, Afura?"

"No, Shayla."

"Are we there yet, Afura?"

"Shayla, that was the forty-ninth time you've asked me that. If you ask me again, I swear I'll drop you like a rock."

"Afura, look out! We're about to crash into that mountain!"

"Shayla, please! I've flown this route a thousand times! Why, I could fly it blindfold— OOF!!"

Afura was interrupted by several thousand tons of solid granite.

Shayla hopped down from her side, to a ledge just beneath them, along the face of the mountain, and looked up at her. "Well, I TOLD you so... hey, you alright?"

Afura's body peeled away from the mountain wall, revealing an Afura-shaped indentation. She fell flat on her back on the ledge, cross-eyed and open-mouthed, and twitched spasmodically.

Shayla narrowed one eye and winced. "Ooh, that's GOTTA hurt."

—

Shayla questioned Afura with genuine concern. "You alright now?"

Afura rubbed her neck. "Yeah... but look, it's starting to rain. Say, there's an alcove. Let's wait out the rain, and let me get my wind back..."

Shayla followed Afura into the shallow cave, just as the rain started to pour down heavily. The two priestesses leaned back against the alcove walls and slid to its floor.

Shayla scowled and rubbed at her bottom. "Ow!... What the hell am I sitting on?"

"Shayla?"

"Yes, Afura?"

"You're sitting on a human skeleton."

"YEEEK!" Shayla jumped straight up from the ground.

She jumped so high that she whacked her head on the low ceiling of the alcove. "EEYOWTCH!"

Then she fell back down on the skeleton, and then she jumped up again. And again. And again. "YEEEK! EEYOWTCH! YEEEK! EEYOWTCH!..."

Afura was bemused. "I think you've discovered perpetual motion."

—

Afura questioned Shayla with genuine concern. "Are you alright?"

Shayla rubbed both her head and her bottom. "Yeah, no thanks to you... Huh. Who do ya suppose this poor guy was?"

"Hmm..." Afura noticed a bag in the dust next to the skeleton. She kicked at it, and it fell open. Coins and jewels spilled from the bag.

"Well, I'd say he was a thief..." Afura said unnecessarily, as Shayla kneeled down to take a closer look.

Shayla whistled. "Just look at all this gold! Hey, we get a ten percent cut finder's reward on treasures reclaimed, right?"

Afura sighed. "Shayla! How could you be so greedy? Think of the good this could do for the seminary. And it's six percent."

Shayla picked up the bag and emptied it out on the alcove floor, like a child emptying a toy box. More coins and jewels fell out, and as the bag emptied itself, a lamp not unlike the priestesses' own lamps fell out on the pile of loot.

"Well, look at that," Shayla marveled. "Whad'ya suppose THAT is? Looks like it could be powerful... and valuable."

Afura kneeled across from Shayla and leaned in to look at it. "Hmm... I think I've seen that in one of my books..."

"Oh well, who cares?" Shayla asked. "The rain's almost stopped. Let's pack this up, do a quick blessing for the poor guy, and head for the market. We can figure it out later."

She reached out and grasped the lamp. "Ooh. It tingles..."

Afura gasped. "Shayla, don't just grab it! You're just asking for a plot complication if you do that!"

She lunged forward to slap Shayla's hand away from the lamp, but her own fingers brushed it. "Oh my. It DOES tingle..."

After a moment that seemed to last for hours, they both took their hands away. Then they both fell flat on their backs.

Afura sat up and rubbed her neck. "Whew, what a ride... Hey, wait a minute. Why does my voice sound like Afura's voice? And what am I doing over there, when I'm sitting here?"

Shayla was already sitting up, holding her face in her hands and moaning. "Oh no... Not THIS tired cliched plot device..."

Afura/Shayla caught on fast. "Mind/body swapper, huh?"

Shayla/Afura nodded glumly. "Afraid so."

Afura/Shayla put her hand back on the lamp. "Well, let's just touch it again and swap back."

Shayla/Afura smiled grimly, but she followed Afura/Shayla's lead.

Nothing happened.

"I didn't think that would work," Shayla/Afura said. "It ought to work either way, but the story would be much less entertaining if it were that simple...

"I'm sure I've seen this thing in one of my books. Let's go to my library, and see if we can learn how to reverse the effect."

Afura/Shayla groaned. "We have to spend time in your library on a holiday weekend? This artifact must be cursed."

—

Afura/Shayla was flying the best that she could, given her total lack of experience with Afura's lamp of wind. And Shayla/Afura tried not to drop the bag of loot as she held on for dear life.

"Shayla, look out! We're about to crash into that mountain!"

"Afura, please! I've flown this route with you a thousand times! Why, I could fly it blindfold— OOF!!"

Afura/Shayla was interrupted by several thousand tons of solid granite.

Shayla/Afura hopped down from her side, to a ledge just beneath them, along the face of the mountain, and looked up at her. "Well, I TOLD you so... are you alright?"

Afura's body peeled away from the mountain wall, revealing an Afura-shaped indentation. She fell flat on her back on the ledge, cross-eyed and open-mouthed, and twitched spasmodically.

Shayla/Afura grinned. "Hurts, doesn't it?"

—

Shayla/Afura entered her library, carrying the mysterious lamp with a heavy pair of gloves, and ducking under a shelf of books that had been mounted too low above the doorway. Afura/Shayla followed her, but whacked her head on the shelf, hard enough to dislodge a few books that proceeded to fall on Shayla/Afura.

"Be careful!" Shayla/Afura growled. "Those are my books you're dropping... and that's my head you're banging."

Afura/Shayla smiled an apology. "Not used to being this tall."

Shayla/Afura looked at the books as she picked them up. "Ah... It's just as well. I think it might have been in one of these."

Afura/Shayla followed her further into the large but very crowded room, between tall shelves crammed with books, towards a table by a window. She asked a question as they both sat at the table.

"Y'know, this being the largest private library in Roshtaria and all... You oughta have a separate building for it. Why don't you ask Makoto and Fujisawa to help us? I'll bet they could put up a nice building in no time."

Shayla/Afura looked at her. "It's strange. I'd thought of doing that myself, but I had a premonition that it would lead to all kinds of wacky shenanigans."

Afura/Shayla looked back at her. "Yeah, that IS strange. Now that you mention it, and now that I'm you, I can feel it too. It's almost as if you already asked them to do it in an alternate reality..."

They stared at each other for a moment longer, before shaking it off.

Afura/Shayla drummed her fingers on the table. "So, how long do you think this'll take? I guess we could still go shopping, but I do well to remember my own measurements, let alone yours."

Without looking up from the book in front of her, Shayla/Afura reached across the table and slapped Afura/Shayla's fingers to silence her as she answered. "These mind-swap things are always extremely difficult to reverse. It's all part of the tired cliched plot device."

Afura/Shayla took up a big heavy book to whack Shayla/Afura's hand in retaliation, but then, Shayla/Afura held up her open hand. "Wait! Here it is! Found it already. Heh, who needs a card catalog...

"Let's see, let's see... yes, here it is. 'To reverse the swap, find the switch at the base of the lamp labeled 'mind swap' and set it to the 'reverse' position.'"

Shayla/Afura looked up from the book, and stared blankly into space, and blinked a few times.

Then she put on a glove, picked up the lamp and turned it over. The 'mind swap' switch was there, exactly as described.

Shayla/Afura calmly set the lamp down, closed the book, stood up and took it back to its shelf. Then she sat back down at the table and calmly began to beat her head against it.

Afura/Shayla protested. "Stop that! That's MY head you're banging!"

—

Shayla/Afura picked up the lamp, flicked the switch, and set the lamp back down. "Let's get this over with. We've already missed the opening sales at the market, and now we're looking at a late lunch by the time we get there..."

Afura/Shayla paused. "Say... Afura?"

Shayla/Afura sighed. "What, Shayla?"

"Before we switch back, could I do something... 'as you'?"

Shayla/Afura raised an eyebrow. "Eh?"

Afura/Shayla explained. "I had a losing streak in a card game in the back room at Nicky's pawn shop awhile back, and they took my favorite ring and threw me out..."

Shayla/Afura tut-tut'ed. "You told me you lost that ring."

"I DID," Shayla said. "I lost it in a game. Anyway, I was wondering if I could take my half of the finder's reward and reclaim it. Even if I had the money, they'd lock the doors if they saw me coming. But they wouldn't see me coming now..."

Shayla/Afura scowled. "What makes you think I'd let myself be seen in Nicky's pawn shop? Even if it wasn't me?"

Afura/Shayla's shoulders slumped. "So... no go, huh?"

Shayla/Afura grinned. "No... Not unless... You did a little something for ME while you were at it..."

Now Afura/Shayla raised an eyebrow. "What did you have in mind?"

Shayla/Afura fidgeted. "Well... you know I've always been afraid of needles... but I've always wanted to get a tattoo on my..."

She whispered in Afura/Shayla's ear, and Afura/Shayla's eyes widened.

Shayla/Afura finished her thought out loud. "...and there's a parlor next door to Nicky's, isn't there? So, would you mind..."

Afura/Shayla grinned. "No problem."

Then she grinned wider. "You know... there's no need to switch back right away, is there? We could have some fun with this..."

Shayla/Afura grinned back. "Just think of the tricks we could play on Fatora and Alielle, with my brains and your body..."

They silently looked at each other for a few moments after that. Then they grinned maniacally at each other, and yelled in unison.

"MIND TRIP!!"


End file.
